I'm at a journalism conference at the University of Georgia (in Athens) this week, and I have an early morning tomorrow. But, of course , inspiration strikes at the most inconvenient times.
I'm taking a class on modern American literature this summer, and it's been a stretch for me as I tend to focus on antiquity and the medieval period much more than I do on modernism. I'm also pretty ignorant when it comes to American literature in general. Shamefully, I've read very few of the classics. But that means this class has been really interesting for me, because the style and goals of the writing are so totally new.
We've read Susan Glaspell, William Carlos Williams, H.D., Wallace Stevens, and John Steinbeck so far. We read H.D.'s HERmione the week before last, and, unfortunately, I'm missing the lectures on her later poetry while I'm out of town this week. (I'll probably be writing my second paper on her though, so at least I'll get a chance to look more in-depth into the evolution of her writing over the course of her life.)
Anyway (there is a point), HERmione was extremely hard to get into at first. Once I did, I was entranced. I felt I was actually experiencing the character's emotions. The novel is one written by a poet, which is pretty evident from the narrative style. It's largely autobiographical, telling a story of failure and resulting identity crisis. I may have related to it so much simply because Her/Hermione (the main character) is very close to if not exactly the same age as I am (20).
We talked a lot about the writing style and the lack of clearly described events and an easy-to-follow plot. What we didn't delve into much are the religious overtones of the novel. I have no remarkable insight to offer into the topic, but I found the development of Hermione's perspective toward the divine interesting.
Throughout the majority of the novel, Hermione seems confused, almost blinded by herself and her lack of self, really. She seems to describe overwhelming visions and experiences, mostly related to nature. After a certain transitional series of events (which I won't give away in case you decide to read the book), Hermione comes to accept herself and establishes a stable acceptance and understanding of what she deems divinity.
To me, it's very Hindu/Eastern in the fact that it's as if she herself has transformed into a god. Again, she defines her spirituality in nature; she is very conscious of her feet and the feeling of her bare feet in contact with earth and plants. Aware of her connection with the natural world and thus with all life, she finds her way, carves her individual, ancient, divine self into existence: "She wanted just that plunge into grey dusk, just that finding foothold on the half frozen path to help her. ... a feeling of elation caught at Her, a sort of atavism having to do with Olympia." H.D. as a writer and Hermione as a character connected with the ancient Greek world of mythology and ritual. Through it, she defined her self and her relationship with the divine. The Hindu aspect comes in at the end, as she becomes "practical and at one with herself, with the world, with all outer circumstance."
I hope this entry was at least enjoyable to read if not terribly informative, and hopefully you'll be encouraged to pick up HERmione sometime. (Accomplishment for me: I refrained from quoting too extensively!)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Who Am I?
For the class (Modern American Literature) I started today, the professor asked us to write a three-page narrative answering the questions, "Who Am I?" and "Why Am I Here?" It was actually kind of cathartic to write, and it helped me assign meaning to some of the mundane aspects of my daily life. This is my abbreviated answer to the first question.
My perfect Saturday morning would involve baking cookies, listening to NPR, and settling in with a good book, my cat, and a cup of tea. I buy books more quickly than I can read them and always have at least 20 checked out from the library. I'm very passionate about and interested in doing research in my two major fields, religious studies and English literature. I enjoy participating in my campus newspaper because I believe journalism provides an important, informative service for the people. For the '09-'10 school year I will be the editor-in-chief of the Daily Beacon. This past year I was able to feed my obsession for proper grammar as the chief copy editor. I have also written news and a few entertainment articles for my paper.
I’ve always felt uncomfortable talking about myself, so please excuse the fact that the above paragraph is a recycled biography. It highlights all my favorite activities and the ways in which I spend most of my time. But do the things I do define who I am? They certainly occupy my mental energy and prevent me from pondering such an existential question as personal identity for a very prolonged period. Since my days are consumed with these activities, I think the best way to define who I am is to examine my reasons for spending my time on such pursuits.
Primarily, I am focused on classes and schoolwork. Why? I love to learn. My career goal is to be an eternal student, a professor. At the moment, I am looking into graduate school in Medieval Studies and/or Medieval Christianity. I loved my Chaucer class last spring. Chaucer was such an interesting guy; his personal opinions about religion, and really most topics, are difficult to discern. He wanted his readers to come to their own conclusions about him. I like that he wanted his readers to expand their minds, to make their own judgments. I would like to be that kind of professor when I “grow up.” I want to aid my students’ intellectual growth, but I want that growth to be independent of my own opinions and interpretations.
Secondly, during the regular school year I spend a good deal of time working at the Daily Beacon. The amount of time I spend there will increase quite a bit this next year, because, as I said above, I will be the editor-in-chief. My friends at the Beacon work there in order to gain journalistic experience, but I’m not interested in a career in journalism. I participate because I think the Beacon provides an important service to UT’s students. All good journalism should be informative and expose the truth when necessary. I know the Beacon at times falls short of such a lofty goal, as many journalistic outfits do these days. Journalistic integrity and quality are declining. An article I read claims that journalists have brought about their own demise, as they have forgotten the most important standard of quality: “Substantive writing and reporting isn't everything, it's the only thing.” So, the reason I work at the Daily Beacon is because of a sense of social duty.
I’m also on Issues Committee. We’re responsible for spending a large portion of the student activities fee to bring “interesting and informative speakers” to campus. I like being on Issues because, well, to be honest, it’s pretty cool to meet famous, or semi-famous, people. Also, it’s a bit aggravating because UT students seem so disengaged and uninterested in most of our events. Name recognition drives attendance, but our best speakers are usually those little-heard-of writers, who really are experts, but get little to no interest from UT students. So, indirectly, my membership on Issues Committee shows that I wish students would show interest in something other than beer, parties, and the resulting meaningless sex. That was a bit of an odd connection to make, but I’m really disappointed by my peers’ apathetic detachment from political issues and intelligent discourse in general.
I’m in a handful of other organizations, which I hope speak to a facet of my personal identity, but sometimes I worry my activities become just another line on the resume. Since childhood, I always defined myself in terms of religion. My parents and I attended a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and then a Southern Baptist church. Seeing the light of liberalism in college, I’m appalled by the political agendas and hypocrisies of the evangelical churches of my past. I know this is true of many different denominations and of other religions, but regardless it’s disheartening to see such bureaucracy diminish spirituality. Humanity is fallible, and I’ve pretty much lost faith in organized religion, as a result of a few experiences that I won't mention here. That doesn’t mean I’ve lost faith in God, but I’m still in the process of sorting out my beliefs and discerning the proper way to honor God. So, my religious experience at this point means I am seeking truth about existence, whatever “truth” means and wherever I may find it.
So, who am I? I am a student, hopefully an eternal one; I am a journalist who writes out of a sense of social duty; I am a young adult, disappointed by the apathy of my peers; and I am a seeker of divine and existential truth.
My perfect Saturday morning would involve baking cookies, listening to NPR, and settling in with a good book, my cat, and a cup of tea. I buy books more quickly than I can read them and always have at least 20 checked out from the library. I'm very passionate about and interested in doing research in my two major fields, religious studies and English literature. I enjoy participating in my campus newspaper because I believe journalism provides an important, informative service for the people. For the '09-'10 school year I will be the editor-in-chief of the Daily Beacon. This past year I was able to feed my obsession for proper grammar as the chief copy editor. I have also written news and a few entertainment articles for my paper.
I’ve always felt uncomfortable talking about myself, so please excuse the fact that the above paragraph is a recycled biography. It highlights all my favorite activities and the ways in which I spend most of my time. But do the things I do define who I am? They certainly occupy my mental energy and prevent me from pondering such an existential question as personal identity for a very prolonged period. Since my days are consumed with these activities, I think the best way to define who I am is to examine my reasons for spending my time on such pursuits.
Primarily, I am focused on classes and schoolwork. Why? I love to learn. My career goal is to be an eternal student, a professor. At the moment, I am looking into graduate school in Medieval Studies and/or Medieval Christianity. I loved my Chaucer class last spring. Chaucer was such an interesting guy; his personal opinions about religion, and really most topics, are difficult to discern. He wanted his readers to come to their own conclusions about him. I like that he wanted his readers to expand their minds, to make their own judgments. I would like to be that kind of professor when I “grow up.” I want to aid my students’ intellectual growth, but I want that growth to be independent of my own opinions and interpretations.
Secondly, during the regular school year I spend a good deal of time working at the Daily Beacon. The amount of time I spend there will increase quite a bit this next year, because, as I said above, I will be the editor-in-chief. My friends at the Beacon work there in order to gain journalistic experience, but I’m not interested in a career in journalism. I participate because I think the Beacon provides an important service to UT’s students. All good journalism should be informative and expose the truth when necessary. I know the Beacon at times falls short of such a lofty goal, as many journalistic outfits do these days. Journalistic integrity and quality are declining. An article I read claims that journalists have brought about their own demise, as they have forgotten the most important standard of quality: “Substantive writing and reporting isn't everything, it's the only thing.” So, the reason I work at the Daily Beacon is because of a sense of social duty.
I’m also on Issues Committee. We’re responsible for spending a large portion of the student activities fee to bring “interesting and informative speakers” to campus. I like being on Issues because, well, to be honest, it’s pretty cool to meet famous, or semi-famous, people. Also, it’s a bit aggravating because UT students seem so disengaged and uninterested in most of our events. Name recognition drives attendance, but our best speakers are usually those little-heard-of writers, who really are experts, but get little to no interest from UT students. So, indirectly, my membership on Issues Committee shows that I wish students would show interest in something other than beer, parties, and the resulting meaningless sex. That was a bit of an odd connection to make, but I’m really disappointed by my peers’ apathetic detachment from political issues and intelligent discourse in general.
I’m in a handful of other organizations, which I hope speak to a facet of my personal identity, but sometimes I worry my activities become just another line on the resume. Since childhood, I always defined myself in terms of religion. My parents and I attended a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and then a Southern Baptist church. Seeing the light of liberalism in college, I’m appalled by the political agendas and hypocrisies of the evangelical churches of my past. I know this is true of many different denominations and of other religions, but regardless it’s disheartening to see such bureaucracy diminish spirituality. Humanity is fallible, and I’ve pretty much lost faith in organized religion, as a result of a few experiences that I won't mention here. That doesn’t mean I’ve lost faith in God, but I’m still in the process of sorting out my beliefs and discerning the proper way to honor God. So, my religious experience at this point means I am seeking truth about existence, whatever “truth” means and wherever I may find it.
So, who am I? I am a student, hopefully an eternal one; I am a journalist who writes out of a sense of social duty; I am a young adult, disappointed by the apathy of my peers; and I am a seeker of divine and existential truth.
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